


Snapshot Life

by captainangua



Series: SPN spec ficlets [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen, I just want Sam to have nice things post finale, Post-Episode: s09e23 Do You Believe In Miracles?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:44:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainangua/pseuds/captainangua
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam struggles to accept love and happiness, but someone's there with him to help ease him into it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snapshot Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Parvasilvi - tumblr prompted](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Parvasilvi+-+tumblr+prompted).



"Sam," he hears her call from the bed, tugging out a smile from him. It’s never been Sammy from her, he’s noticed that, he’s appreciated that. It sometimes makes him feel older, like someone was talking to him levelly. He’d liked that about Cas, there’d been no pet names from the angel, just moving on with whatever it was they had to do, trusting him.

And the angel still wasn’t answering the prayers Sam sent out. Sam didn’t blame him, of course. Dealing with grief for the first time… that was never going to be easy.

“It’s too early for the bed to be this cold.”

He spun around in the desk chair he’d been sitting at to face her, sitting up in bed with the duvet held up to cover her naked breasts, her dark eyes wide and assured. Being an artist, she had to know how wonderful the dappled sunlight coming in through the ratty curtains looked against the light brown of her skin, and the long dark hair that Sam knew would smell of coconuts when he pressed his face to it again, letting his long fingers get lost in it. It wasn’t the paintings she liked to look at, it was a moment she would have snapped up with her camera, had she been sitting where Sam was. A moment in time, easily missed.

He coughed, smiling, as she kept looking. “I thought I’d try and get some work done.”

“You mean you thought you’d try thinking up new ways to get your brother back to you.”

“Just back at all would be an improvement, really.”

She smiled, but half-heartedly. Interested as she was in Sam’s world, he knew that it continued to disconcert her, the talk of bringing dead things back to life. Something Sam had almost forgotten might be abhorrent to others, when it had become such a commonplace topic of conversation over the last few years: whichever new way the Winchesters had decided to play God this time.

“You never said. Do you blame yourself for what happened?”

Sam thought hard to himself for a moment. She didn’t ask him many questions, so he felt obliged to regard each one she did with appropriate weight. “I don’t think so. Dean… Dean made his choice.” he answered eventually, slowly, the words falling so reluctantly off his tongue. “This time… I think that I could have been there for him more, before, maybe. But I was… I was just still so angry with him.” He smiled weakly, hating himself. “I guess I still am. Stupid really. It’s just, he never apologised, not even at the end. And maybe now he never will. And it hurts but it’s still…” he breathed out a laugh, “It’s still  _annoying,_ y’know?”

The smile she gave him meant everything. There was no doubt on her face over whether to continue to accept him as he was, with all the darkness that came with that. She just smiled because she was pleased for him, because she felt for him without pitying him. Because she was perfect and he didn’t even deserve to be looking at her now.

“I know you, Sam,” she murmured, never taking her eyes off him as she let the covers fall from her entirely and stood up out of bed. “And I know that you care more than anyone I’ve ever met. You would have done everything to save him, and you know it too.” When she walked over the wooden floor to stand over him, he allowed himself to lean into the hand she cupped around his cheek, allowed himself for a moment to feel safe, to believe in her validation of him. And then she swung one leg around him, straddling him – pinning him to his chair, and leaned down to speak in his ear. “You know it’s too early for me to be out of bed with no clothes on, Sam. Be a dear and take me back there?”

Sam had to bite down on the grin threatening to split wide across his face as he easily pulled her tighter towards him, one arm wound all the way over her back, the other hand snaking up through the tangles of her hair as he kissed her. Her mouth was open for him, and for this moment he let himself think on how well they seemed to fit together, about how holding her in his arms really did feel like coming home. Let himself think for a moment that he deserved to have a home to find.


End file.
